Meet Joe Schmuck
A guy at a crossroads
Once upon a very imaginary day, Joe Schmuck, an average American guy with a closet full of old skeletons was at a crossroads. On one road, was Mt. Everest; grueling, almost impossible, in fact death-defying but with every torturous ascent, a breathtaking view and at the end a seat at the top of the world. On the other road, a long cobblestone path with no clear end in sight and few spectacular views along the way. Behind him the Sheriff Grim Reaper and his buddy, Deputy Ghost of X-mas Past.
At this crossroads, Joe kills time and breathes it all in. It’s a playground of sorts and he has done it all. Tried every swing, ridden every slide. He’s ready to take a road and has peeked down each road with people that he’s met there, but unfortunately, they have come and gone and have no interest in going on the journey with him. 2 years after he reaches that spot, he meets Jane. Jane’s an old-fashioned conservative idealist but somehow, Joe is smitten. No thanks to loud-mouth Deputy, who keeps announcing to everyone about Joe’s skeleton closet, after a very short time, she runs off in to the woods and disappears, afraid of skeletons and the fact that Joe isn’t from around these parts. Another 2 years pass, more people come and go and Joe himself is getting tired of the place.
(What kind of retarded story is this?? Well if you made it this far you might as well keep on going.)
Joe’s got a problem. The Sheriff is bored and pokes Joe with a stick. He tells Joe to hurry his ass up and pick a road because this spot is a no stopping/no loitering zone. The catch is that Joe isn’t a solo kinda guy. ForJoe, that someone is more important than any breathtaking view, or seat on top of the world. He is willing to take either road as long as that someone is going to go with him. He’s set in his ways and is determined not to start his journey alone. In a strange twist of fate, Jane wanders back and starts hanging around the playground again. Joe is too old for hide and seek. He’s confused not knowing what Jane now thinks and his back is rubbed raw from the Sheriff's poking stick.
In a perfect world, Bob Marley would come along, shoot the damn Sheriff, and let his accomplice deal with the Deputy. Jane would be clear about her intentions, and Joe would have an entourage along on his journey. But hey, that would just be talking crazy now wouldn’t it? Is there a third road? What do you think Joe should do?
rick
21 Comments
Reader Comments (21)
well, joe can either wait for jane - to make up her mind (whilst suffering the pain from the sheriff) since the more he suffers the better he feels later. of course, a big risk is that jane will be indecisive, and joe will have no idea how long he'll have to wait in the pain. still, if his determination is REALLY _that_ strong, to not travel alone, this is no big sacrifice, since he will end up alone anyway if he chooses a road now. and the pain, will be in vain, but at least he knows deep down inside he tried (whe he is finally alone).
this is the sort of retarded answer you get for writing a retarded story. but i think my answer is flawless ;p hahaha
of course, there is a third road... it is the path that noone sees as a path, not really a road at all, but he can go through the bushes, and make a new one himself :) if he doesn't wanna be alone, ask the sheriff to tag along! (i doubt joe likes that, since the sheriff is just pain the the butt, then again, at least he's not alone?)
to get out of loneliness - sacrifices, time, money. damn. i wish i am not lonely as well -_-; boohoo.
it's okay, tell joe to look for me. maybe joe can teach him how to play darts or something (no, no, and NO, joe cannot marry me:))
J.: Wow. A real response! That's great! I'm glad even though I'm trying to hide a lot of the story, at least one person can see what I'm talking about. Which cipher did you use to decrypte it? ;) But really, it's that kind of outside the box thinking that is so helpful! You have really got a point. Real regret will come to Joe from not trying and knowing for sure. As for the sheriff, he will be tagging along regardless of what Joe does. It's inevitable because he is quite literally what he is.
Joe probably can't find you because you are even more of a mystery. I'll let Joe know that the mysterious J offered some valuable advice.
A lot of people don't like Sheriff Grim Reaper's company but ultimately he's the only one who'll stick by you to the end. And when he swings that sickle, it's only to send you off to see the Wizard. What a pal!
Joe isn't ready to meet the Wizard. Joe feels that he has 50+ years before he's ready to meet the him and even then, he's not sure if the Wizard is going to be the person behind the curtain. The Witch is one scary Mofo. Thanks to the old skeletons in his closet he's afraid he hasn't done the right things on his way to the crossroads. Sadly for Joe, he's got an imaginary friend called Doubting Thomas that influences him quite a bit and makes him ever the pessimist.
What is Joe looking for in a playmate to take this journey with him? What kind of journey does he want to take in the first place? Granted, Joe believes that having someone is more important than any view or any seat in the world, but for Joe to actually enjoy this playmate in the long run, playmate and Joe should have similar values to avoid clashing when the initial thrill of sharing lollipops and school lunches are gone.
Deputy Ghost of X-mas Past isn't very nice. If Jane is hanging around the playground again, perhaps this is a good time to be direct and see where it goes. Joe says he's too old for hide and seek, so maybe he should put bake a nice warm apple pie, take her to a game, and ask if she wants to be his playmate. Even if she says no, if both Joe and Jane are mature enough, they'll still be friends.
If Jane says yes, this means she has decided to travel with Joe despite the stories about his skeletons. This is quite a good sign. On the other hand, be careful of Jane because her personality indicates a traditional upbringing and background that may not tolerate someone like Joe.
One thinks, however, that you should just turn around, give the Sheriff the bird, snap his goddamn stick, and take the path you want, only this time, paying more attention and being more down-to-earth with the playmates you meet along the way. Don't settle.
hope you can let joe know about all these, and make up his mind:)
skeletons are there to stay, sheriff will poke joe with knife soon if he doesnt move. yes, playgrounds are for kids, and if joe didnt like my comment, listen to Aviatrix's. he is wise. still, up to joe to decide what is more important or him.
i r lazy to type. tell joe to givvit a few days, think about it, and start to act on the thoughts.
night -.-
Aviatrix: Hmm. Joe does see the necessity of having a travel buddy with the same values but he thinks that fundamentally, he and Jane might share them. He really hasn't had a chance to find out. If Joe bakes that apple pie, and Jane makes a another run for the woods. Joe would be crushed seeing as that it would be Deja-Vu from 2 years past.
I think Joe's biggest problem is that he isn't from around these parts. As an outsider, this problem with Jane applied to many of the people that have come and gone in the past.
Fear and regret. If only Joe would deal with those two. I think he'd be ok.
J: I'm really surprised that people have taken the time to read my masterpiece. I'm sure Joe appreciates all the opinions, even the tough love ones. You're insight will do Joe wonders! Thanks!
I'm curious. What is it about Joe's status as an outsider that makes it hard for him to find playmates? Perhaps is having a someone is more important than place at this point, would relocating be an option?
Joe really, really should watch "A Lot Like Love." It's an American film. Yes, it's a chick-flick, but I think you'll smile from it.
Relocating...not an option because this is not a multidimensional universe. The playground, the roads, the destinations are all a part of this land. Relocating would be practically falling of the edge of the world. Either that or the Sheriff has taken Joe to see the Wizard.
First off-I like Lin's advice. Very wise.
Second-life is short. Living with regrets is a bitch. Joe needs to grab the bull by the horns and tackle the problem head on. Enough dilly-dallying in the playground.
Valentines Day. Doom's Day. A fairly interesting day in Japan because it's a Japanese tradition for boys to receive chocolates from their admirers/loved ones. Boy's then reciprocate exactly a month later on what is called White Day here in Japan.
Hence. If Joe recieve squat from Jane on V-Day, then that's it. Joe cuts all ties with Jane. Cold turkey. Sound like a plan?? Too extreme?
All Joe wants is a hint. So if he can't even get a hint from Jane then there must be not much more that he could possibly expect from her right?
Is he still going to go ahead with the plan? :)
Will giri-choco count as a hint?! hmm.....
I'll talk to you more about Joe (or not) tomorrow ^_^
So YOU'RE J! I was wondering who the hell you were.
j = joe?
j = jane?
maybe i am one of them, and maybe that is why i know so much... you created me with your retarded story... therefore the insights to your peanut brain... wait.. maybe i am... i am you?
ok ok, i am ricky. i just post comments on my own blog.. hmm.. what the..
anyhow, we'll see aye? v-day. i hope i'll have chocolates, giri or no-giri.
good night.
joe schmuck.